My Self Image, A Reflection From My Past

Posted by Lisa Stevens on

Take Two....

I wrote a blog already on this subject, but just before we posted it I was reminded that my blogs are usually personally, honest and real. 

I was tiptoeing around this subject because I did not want to offend anyone....which made for a "miss" of a blog. My readership has come to appreciate the blogs that are from my heart and why would I wish to give anything else?

Have you ever been told something that has shaped your self-image in a negative way? (Even if the people did not anticipate the outcome to be negative, but none-the-less that is what happened.)

Growing up I was always told I looked like my father. My sister (14 months older) looks like my mother and my brother (4 years younger) looks like dad as well.

So for me, I was always compared to the male family members, which lead me to believe I looked like a man. I tried to over compensate as a young teenage girl, wearing copious amounts of make up, I thought it looked good...hahaha but in reality when I looked in the mirror I just saw a guy with lots of poorly applied make up. 

Once I developed (puberty) I thought maybe my image would change, but also not so much. I was now just a male looking girl with boobs. 

As a grown woman, has my self image changed any? Am I able to see past these statements that shaped me? Sometimes yes and sometimes no. I have no shortage of people telling me I am a beautiful woman but that young impressionable teenage girl still lives in me and she sticks her head out now and again and makes me question how I see myself and wonder how others see me. 

I look at others and can see resemblances to any gender, never think the thoughts I have of myself "Oh they look like a male or a female" why do I when it comes to myself? Was I born to have a low self-image? Was it others who unknowingly fed that in me? Or did I help it along by overthinking and caring too much what others say and think of me....but of course just the negative, never the positive. 

What about you? Have you been shaped by comments of others positive or negative? As you grew up, did the impact lessen or are you like me and any negative clings on for dear life? lol

I do want to say that I know those who said this to me had no ill intent, peopling is hard and we never known what will impact those around us. We try our best and that is all we can do. What impacts me in a negative way may not do the same for others. No one should feel bad or guilty, I am just sharing to show others with the same experience that they are not alone.  

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