Is summer here or is it not here? Who can tell with this weather....one day it is 29 degrees and the next it is 11 and then 38 on Friday. hahahaha The weather is bi-polar....
Speaking of which, I have been to a psychiatrist several times over the last few months, and have been given some new diagnoses (if anyone follows along on my journey, I was told I had Major Depressive Disorder so we were treating that... but since it would initially get better but then decline, we figured something else was up....and down...and up again...and down again....) and one of those is bi-polar. (I will share the others in follow-up blogs, maybe not in consecutive weeks but eventually).
I will say I was a little shocked when the psychiatrist first brought it up, but upon going home and reading up on it, it made sense...my family also thought it made sense. Funny story, I gathered our children around one day (including my grown son and his wife) to let them know the diagnose, we believe in honesty and openness with our kids, and one of them said "Didn't we already know this?!?!?", and as I looked around the teenagers and adults were not shocked, apparently they knew this about me, which I did not know. hahahaha
One of the other reasons it made sense, is because it can go alongside PMDD (pre-menstrual dysphoric disorder) which I also have. And while one diagnoses of this type of disorder is hard...having more just makes things like medication more complicated. We have tried tons of therapies/medication for my PMDD and none seem to work for very long, and now having the bi-polar diagnoses it just falls into place, why and how come.
I have now tried a few different medications to help make day to day easier, some did not work, so we are still searching, but the psychiatrist and my family doctor, whom I have been seeing a lot of lately...hahaha, both think with the right medication and dosage, I should see a decrease in symptoms. I am looking forward to that day, it is not here yet, unfortunately, but I do see a future of that.
I am also still going to therapy every 2 weeks, which is super helpful...we have been talking about where to go with the therapy. So far, I go and talk about how I am feeling/what is happening in my days...but eventually we need to figure out how to give me the skills and coping mechanisms that will help me through my day to day. I have learned some skills, but the psychiatrist recommended CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) as this is usually helpful with several of my diagnoses (again, which I will share in future blogs....don't want to give away and ruin the suspense....) and my therapists agreed. Although she did also think some ACT (Acceptance and commitment therapy) might be helpful as well. So basically, I get to decide what type of therapy I think would work well for myself and my situation, and could be a combination of both or focused on one or the other. Which right now seems daunting....so we'll (I'll) avoid deciding for now. hahaha
I know some people are on either end of the diagnoses scale...there are those who believe they do not help but hinder people's healing/moving forward....and those who believe it helps to know to be able to move forward. I am the latter, it helps me to know why I am the way I am, to know it is not a 'fault' within me, but just how I am wired, and that there are actions I can take to lessen the disruption it causes in my life. I find it is also helpful for my children, since bi-polar is a hereditary disorder, we can watch for symptoms with the younger ones, and the older ones can self-evaluate and seek professional help if necessary. Also, helpful for my husband even if it doesn't really make it easier at least he knows why.
So, while the news is not "good", it is helpful to have sought out the extra help and now can move forward knowing what will be helpful for me and what is not helpful (SSRI's are not helpful for those with bi-polar...which I had been on the past year and while they work for a little, they can actually make the symptoms worse...) and we can go from there. I guess I just journey on and see what the next chapter holds.
I want to thank our customers and ask for your continued support. I am not sure we would be able to do a typical type lifestyle with my diagnosis and Ben with Crohn's, which also has a mental component to it being so life changing. Things have been quite difficult for the last few years but we are optimistic and hoping for the best.