I have a love/hate relationship with writing blogs. I enjoy writing them....when they write themselves....when I put my pen to paper (or fingers to the keyboard) and I just let loose and don't have to really think about what I am writing...it just pours out of me. BUT, when that does not happen and it is the day the blog is due....that can be very frustrating. I love that people love reading what I write....but that also puts the pressure of trying to write things that people will want to read. hahaha
Today is an "off day"...I have written 5 other beginnings to blogs, but cannot get them to say what I want them to say...I am not sure why....when I am away from the computer (or paper...a lot of times I write my blogs on paper and then transfer them over) I think up all kinds of great lines to use....but by the time I get to the computer they are gone or I cannot think of anything else to put with them for it to make sense to anyone else.
This weekend is Thanksgiving here in Canada. I love Thanksgiving...I love it because it does not have ulterior motives as a holiday. I can try and explain what I mean....Thanksgiving in Canada is about sharing food with those we love AND being thankful for what we have. That's it. No one feels like they need to take stock of their lives and vow to make changes because it is Thanksgiving.....no one thinks of Thanksgiving as a "new beginning" to start new habits....Thanksgiving is one of the few holidays that you can participate in without too much self reflection. I know that sounds bad....why would people not want to self reflect? Cause sometimes it is hard to do, sometimes it is just nice to eat some good food, with good people and be thankful for the messed up lives we have. I have not searched or anything, but my guess would be the number #1 item on top of most people's list of "Thankful" thanksgiving things is Family/Friends. Some people are thankful for the roof over their heads or the food they have to eat. But none of those things involve trying to change who we are or our lot in life. We are just thankful for who we are now.
I am thankful for my crazy household. I am thankful that even though we fight and drive each other bananas...I am thankful that we have each other, the roof over our heads and the food on our table. I am thankful for all the good times we have, in between the bad, so we can appreciate the good all the more. I am thankful that after this weekend is over, I won't be crushed that I could not uphold another promise I made to myself....(New Year's Resolutions anyone)....I will just be thankful that I spent the weekend with those I love and we had food to eat....
In the last few weeks we have been dealing with some issues...none that I am going to get into much detail about...including sickness (nothing life threatening), extra person moving in with us, a friends betrayal of trust, dog sickness, behaviour issues with some of the kids (which are completely normal but still hard to deal with and causes stress), my own mental health issues, and then some outside beyond our control stress type issues. When I write these down in light of the things I am thankful for...they don't seem so bad....but in the midst it is hard to see the positive. Which is why I am glad it is Thanksgiving this weekend, so we can stop and just appreciate the good, without worrying about how we can fix the bad.
I am sure in the weeks and months to come, I will elaborate on some of these issues...but I do not feel like today is the day for that. I am going to keep this blog about Thanksgiving and how simple it can be. To just eat and hang with people you love....without trying to fix any wrongs. Sometimes that is what is needed....leave the fixing to another day, enjoy the weekend.
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