Sorry, I Lied!

I wrote a few weeks ago about how Ben and I do projects very well together. Which is 100% the truth. When we do a project together, it usually goes well. 

What I way lying about was the fact that because of my mental illness, when I say when someone is unwell the other person picks up the slack...I mean mostly Ben picking up the slack for me. I really hate to admit it, but I would say Ben does close to 80% of the work load around the house. 

He makes all the meals, he does a bulk of the cleaning, taking care of the kids, he does more for our business that I do and he has to take care of me a good chunk of the time. 

This is hard to admit but I want to be real and honest here. I don't want to be a blogger that people look at as if their life is perfect. I mean, I know ya'll already know that because of the things I have shared in the past....but I just felt really bad about lying about the whole partners in everything post. Ideally that is how it would be, and could be if I could get the mental illness under control...but as of yet, it is not, so I have days/weeks of me not really helping at all. I get too overwhelmed, even with things that are not overwhelming....like taking a shower or doing my hair (if you ever see me on a day to day my hair is usually up in a bun....cause the idea of actually doing it is just too much). I look at the list of things that are "mine" to do....and just the thought of doing them or deciding which to do first, what is the most important....just too much for me. So I usually end up doing none of them, or I rely on Ben to put them in order of importance for me....then I can get to work on them. 

As a 45 year old woman, I should not have to rely on anyone to put my priority list in order. I should know what is important and just do it. Not be overwhelmed with the simple tasks of life, that should be habit by now....but alas here is where I am, this is the truth, the real me. And you know what? I am so blessed I married the man I did....because 99% of the time, he just does what I need (either does the work himself or puts my list in order for me....) and I know he shouldn't have to do that, he has his own list to worry about, he should not have to worry about mine...but because he loves me, he takes on that role even when it makes his day harder. 

This is getting sappy....but it is the truth, I would not be able to live this life without him stepping up like he does. He deserves so much credit, I will give myself some, since I am seeking help and working really hard to get to where I need/should be....but he deserves to be praised for how much he does, for me and for our family. 

If you feel overwhelmed about regular everyday life, I hope you have a partner, a friend, a parent or someone who is willing to help you through those times. I know I am thankful for the partner that I have and even though I forget to tell him sometimes, I hope he knows how much his help means to me.