Another silver lining from 2022.
I began going to therapy. I know people have all kinds of opinions on whether therapy is helpful or not. But I will tell you, for this time in my life, it has been paramount.
I went to therapy two other times in my life, once when I was a teenager and once in my 20's, I won't get into why I went back then, but I will say the difference between those times and this time is that this time I chose to go...I actually made the call myself. My past therapy experiences were initiated by my family and/or friends. This time it was me, saying I need this.
I choose to go to the Canadian Mental Health Association. I looked into all the options before making a choice. I had found some therapy specific to what I (thought) I was dealing with (again, not something I am going to share right now...hahaha) but the cost/what if it didn't work just kept me from actually doing it. Once I got to the point where I knew I could not wait any longer...I called the "free" services and I am so glad I did.
I had nothing but a good experience from that first call to now. (I am technically still a client there, just not seeing anyone since my therapist changed jobs and I am now waiting for someone who has the time to take me as their client.) I cannot say enough good things about the service I received. I know not everyone has had the same experience as I have, but for me, it was exactly what I needed.
The silver lining part of going to therapy is two-fold. 1) I have put myself as a priority, not just in therapy but in life. I cannot give to others if I have nothing to give. Going to therapy has helped me realize this. And 2) Of all the sessions I have had (and they are plentiful...hahaha), there is one thing that has stuck with me since my therapist said it....and it is now my motto for life, and I believe it has made my life and those of my family and friends better around me.
I was trying to explain that I didn't want to be doing things that were too stressful for me...things that only brought stress but no pleasure to my life. Because I understand that anything can be stressful even good things....so these were her exact words "Make your decisions based on what is serving you in a positive way." Now, maybe everyone knows this..hahahaha But I did not, and I tell you it has been life changing.
Don't get me wrong, I still have stress, I still find things stressful but now I can look at each "stressful" thing I do and see if it serving me in a positive way. There was a time period when I thought writing these blogs was extremely stressful and it was not serving ME in a positive way....it may have been serving the business in a positive way, but it was taking too much out of me to consider it positive. I wrote about that period....but that time has ended and know I can see how the stress of writing them can and does serve me in a positive way. I recently have had several people tell me how much they enjoy them and how they help them, and to me that is enough to continue. (And I know, I wrote a whole blog about asking people NOT to do that...tell me how much it means to them, but I will tell you I am at a VERY different place in life now, thank goodness, and I can appreciate when others rely on me for lifting them up, and it helps me too. So...not looking for praise, but if you feel open to sharing with me about any of my posts, please know it will make my heart happy to know I am making a difference, even just a small one, in someone's day.)
Life has tried to take me down....without success. I shall go forth and shine my light, no matter how dim, because that will serve me (and those around me) in a positive way.
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