Riding the Rollercoaster: Loving a Spouse with Bipolar Disorder

Living with a spouse who has bipolar disorder is like riding a rollercoaster. There are exhilarating highs, terrifying lows, and a whole lot of in-between. It's a journey filled with unique challenges, but also moments of profound love and connection. It’s a life I know intimately, and one I wouldn't trade, though it certainly hasn't been easy. We know the statistics are daunting; approximately 90% of marriages with one spouse being bipolar end in divorce. That knowledge isn't lost on us. Surviving together feels like we're constantly fighting to beat the odds, a battle we’re determined to win.

The "ups" can be incredible. During manic or hypomanic episodes, my wife, Lisa, is a whirlwind of energy, ideas, and charm. She’s incredibly productive, creative, and the life of the party. We’ve tackled home renovations with a speed I never thought possible, brainstormed business ideas that have actually taken off, and enjoyed spontaneous adventures fueled by her boundless enthusiasm. These periods can feel like a gift, a time when her personality shines brightly.

But the highs are always tempered by the knowledge that a crash is coming. The "downs" can be devastating. Depression can sink its teeth in for weeks, sometimes months. The vibrant, energetic woman I love becomes withdrawn, exhausted, and filled with a deep sadness that seems impossible to penetrate. Everyday tasks become monumental, and the simplest decisions feel overwhelming. During these times, I become her anchor, her support system, the one who holds onto hope when she can’t.

And then there are the mixed episodes, perhaps the most challenging of all. These are a confusing blend of mania and depression, where the energy of mania is coupled with the dark thoughts of depression. These episodes can be incredibly unsettling, leading to irritability, anxiety, and sometimes, even anger. During these times, communication becomes incredibly difficult, and I have to remind myself that it’s the illness talking, not the woman I love.

Interestingly, during her pregnancies, the hormonal shifts seemed to keep a lot of the bipolar symptoms at bay. It was a period of relative stability, thus why it has gone undiagnosed till as of late. Because Lisa has a bleeding disorder, hormone therapy, which we know can often help manage the disease, is not an option. This makes managing her bipolar disorder even more complex, adding another layer to the challenges we face.

Living with bipolar disorder also means navigating the complexities of treatment. Medication is essential, but finding the right balance can be a long and frustrating process. Therapy is crucial, both for Lisa and for our relationship. And then there are the lifestyle factors: sleep, diet, and stress management all play a significant role in managing the disorder. It’s a constant learning process, a delicate dance of trying to support her while also taking care of myself.

There are days when I feel overwhelmed, exhausted, and even resentful. Days when I wonder if this is too much to handle. But then I look at Lisa, the woman who, despite her struggles, is the kindest, most loving, and most supportive person I know. I remember the joy she brings to my life, the laughter we share, and the unwavering love that binds us together.

And that’s what it comes down to: love. Love is the anchor that keeps us grounded during the storms. It’s the reason I choose to support her, and to navigate this journey together. It's not always easy, but it’s always worth it.

We are so grateful for your support of our business. It’s because of your patronage that we are able to navigate these challenges and build a life together. Your support not only helps us financially, but it also provides us with the stability and security we need to focus on our family and our health. From the bottom of our hearts, thank you. It means the world to us.  We love you all.