This Is Us

Posted by Ben Stevens on

Twenty-three years ago today Lisa and I were married on a beautiful day with light snowfall.  The truth was most people expected our marriage not to last because we were getting married out of a sense of doing the right thing.  Why was it the right thing?  Because on October 27th, just a few months before, we had Adrianna our first child. We both wanted to have the baby and both of us wanted to be part of her life, so we decided to get married.  Truth is we were not in love when we got married, we barely knew each other to any great extent.  

We met through her sister, who I had dated years before, which always makes a great way to start explaining how we met.  I say dating loosely cause it was mostly talking on the phone and writing letters to each other.  Yes, I am that old that we wrote letters to each other.  Years later we went to university together and when she had a party she invited me to it and that's where I reconnected with Lisa.  I remember laying on a couch as she drew figures on my arms with a marker.  Truth is she kind of had me bewitched that very first night.

I lived in my own apartment above my grandfathers at this point in my life.  The night after the party Lisa called me saying I had forgot my Soundgarden cassette tape at her house.  I told her I had just got out of the shower and was going to bed but she said it wouldn't take long and was soon sitting on my couch.  We talked a good chunk of the night and the journey began between this boy and girl. 

Soon after I was invited to a movie with Lisa and a friend, the friend was a boy just so everyone knows.  The movie was 'The River Wild' and after it finished and her friend went to the bathroom we shared our first kiss.  I truly feel really bad for her friend, as he must have felt like a third wheel in this budding romance.  Our relationship progressed very quickly and intensely.  And it was only months later that we ended up pregnant for our first kid.

After the initial chaos of telling family and friends, we spent time figuring out our future and decided to get married.  Years into our marriage we fell in love after we got to truly know and appreciate each other for who we were.  And here we are 23 years later, still so much in love with each other.  We still walk together holding hands, cuddle up on the couch together, drive with my hand on her leg, kiss and say I love you everyday, and have so much fun together.  The truth is I realize how incredibly blessed I am to have the relationship with my wife that I do.  Our story is not a fairytale though and we have faced our fair share of challenges such as five kids, seven miscarriages, lots of death in our families, illness, family issues, and just plain old rough times.  The fairytale part of our story is we have faced all these things together by choice.  

Almost every relationship begins with that phase of infatuation where the rest of the world could cease to exist and you wouldn't notice.  It is not nearly as common 23 years later to still be at a place where the rest of the world could vanish and we wouldn't notice.  So today I wish my wife the very best Anniversary, and to all of you I hope you give your love to a special someone whoever that may be for you.  Life is too short for wasting our time on anything that isn't rooted in love.  While you will never do it perfectly love yourself, that special someone, your kids, your family, your pets, your friends and neighbours, your job, where you live, and what you do.  

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  • Happy anniversary you crazy kids!

    Carly MacInnis on

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