The Things We Do For Love

Posted by Ben Stevens on

A story from almost 25 years ago popped into my head this week and I got excited to share it with you cause it one of the funniest things I've ever seen in my life.  It was when Lisa and I first got married, we lived with my grandfather in his upstairs apartment.  We woke every morning to the sound of that wonderful man hocking a loogie into the sink, worst alarm clock ever.  It was a place to live though and it actually was pretty great despite the unintentional morning wake up call.  

Our barn red bedroom had a tiny window that was literally at floor level and happened to be right at the head of our bed.  Our bedroom was also our kitchen, if that's any indication of the size of the apartment.  The window, however, was nice in the summer because we could open it up and get a bit of breeze directly on us.  The other thing it did was entertain and annoy us simultaneously as the window faced our neighbours, who always had some sort of drama for us to watch but yet it kept us from sleeping.  At this stage of our life we had a baby, mind you we have a baby in almost every stage of our life.  I'll save us some time in future stories I share with you, just assume we have a baby at all times in all stories.      

This particular night though I never could have imagined what I was about to see.  The neighbours were having a party and people were in and out of the upstairs apartment all night.  I actually knew the guy that lived there from working with him the year before.  As we laid in bed and listened and occasionally watched the drama we noticed that our neighbour and girlfriend were having a disagreement.  We heard things like "It's just a game", "Relax", and finally "Let's just see how it goes".  In my experience when you hear the phrase "Let's see how it goes" it usually  doesn't go very well and turns out poorly.  

Then everyone vanished inside the apartment and we thought we finally might be able to get to sleep.  Then before we reached slumber we heard two people arguing.  Our neighbour and his girlfriend were yelling at each other.  To summarize the information we gathered through the screams was that she made out with some guy that was not the boyfriend.  She didn't seem to see why it was such a big deal and he was telling her how much he loved her and how she was breaking his heart.  It was kind of uncomfortable watching a relationship disintegrate right before your eyes.  She finished off the argument by saying "Maybe we should just take a some time apart and figure things out".  I should say this was two intoxicated people having a middle school style argument opposed to two grown adults where you wonder if the cops should get involved.    

She went inside and closed the door behind her.  My neighbour was clearly upset and I felt really bad cause he was clearly upset.  Then out of his ass he pulled the most amazing "win back the girl" move I've ever witnessed.  He walked over to the 2 story high set of stairs and loudly, and I mean loudly, stomped and banged his way down the stairs making as much noise as possible.  He then at the bottom laid down on the ground and began moaning as loud as he possibly could.  Several people rushed out from the apartment including his girlfriend who ran down the stairs and kneeled over him.  She kept asking if he was ok and saying she was sorry and that things would be fine.  My neighbour fake fell down the stairs and won the girl back, it was pure genius...and deception.

I have no idea if they are still together today or if their lives took separate direction.  I do know it was one of the most entertaining things I've ever seen other people do for love.  Perhaps though it might have turned out differently had we not remained passive observers.  The thought has crossed my mind what if that night instead of giggling to ourselves with nothing but a screen between our world and theirs, I opened my mouth at the perfect moment and said "He's faking, he didn't fall down the stairs.  He's just trying to make you feel sorry for him".  That also could have been quite entertaining to watch.  We all do crazy things for love, do we not? 

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