Anxiety Sucks

First off, I want to say that anxiety sucks.

Over my 45 years of life I have felt nervous for a lot of it…hahaha I am an inherently shy person, with low self esteem…so doing anything, old or new, gives me the ‘nerves’. But a few years ago I started getting anxiety, which is different than nervousness. 

I have general anxiety (meaning I wake up with it and it stays with me during the day…), I also have social anxiety (which means I get mild panic attacks when I need to go anywhere I am not comfortable with)….and a few times over the last couple year I have had full blown major panic attacks. None of these scenarios are fun. 

At my appointment with my psychiatrist last month, he prescribed me medication for my anxiety. I said I was willing to give it a try. By the time I got to the pharmacy and she explained how addictive it was and how over time I would need more and more of it to work…I got scared to take it. So for almost the full month I kept dealing with the anxiety….about a week before heading back to the psychiatrist I decided to try one of the pills, I took it at night and boy did I sleep…hahaha It didn’t help with my anxiety the next day (why would it? The effects only last so long), but I took another one that night and the next. 

When I got back to the psychiatrist I told him of my experience and how I was nervous about taking them as prescribed (1 pill twice a day)….he said pharmacists are great but their job is to inform patients of all the risks involved with taking medication. A psychiatrists job is to look at the patient and help them improve their quality of life. And while there maybe some negative reactions (usually minor and not for everyone) the positives usually outweigh any risks. He explained for myself, I could take the medication as prescribed and feel anxiety free within a few weeks…and it would not necessarily have to be an ongoing regimen due to the fact that we are working on finding the correct dosage of my bi-polar medication and feels once we have that corrected, I may not experience any anxiety at all….or I could continue to experience the anxiety. 

I have also been one to hate taking pills of any kind…but I realize now that if I want to improve my quality of life, pills/medication will now have to be a part of achieving that. And you know what? I have come to a place where I am ok with it…as my family doctor told me just the other day, I am worth it, I have to be kind to Lisa and do whatever is necessary to feel the best I can. 

I have since began taking my pills as prescribed 1 pill 2 times a day…and goodness they make me dopey…hahaha I don’t mind, I just kinda move a slower pace and enjoy what is going on around me. But my family thinks it is funny…I have been told these side effects will wear off once my body gets used to the meds, usually within a few weeks but until then I guess I just go with the flow..:cause while I may feel a little drugged, my anxiety has been way better, not completely gone but enough that I feel I can function, and that is the goal.